Learning to Live Without You
by sshaw101
Summary: The truth is you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed. [Sequel to Not Your Everyday Love Story]


**Hey hey there fellow fanfictioners! Here's the next instalment of "why are well all so dramatic children and decided that this would be fun even though I get too emotionally invested in everything". I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: all characters belong to Nickelodeon and Amanda belongs to my good friend and fellow RPer (obviously!).**

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**Okay, so since there's so many Cat's and it's even confusing to me, I'm gonna try to explain it. **

**So there's: Cat- the ex, Cat- the best friend for life, forever and always, Cat- the almost sister, and Cat- the best friend. I hope that makes things less confusing.**

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Hi I'm Robert Shapiro. I live in Los Angeles, California and I go to Hollywood Arts High School. I just turned 18 and my life is a living hell.

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I thought that if I proposed to her, everything would be okay again. She'd be all mine and we could get married, nurture our family. We could raise our daughter, and maybe even more children. We'd grow old together, and this time would be all but a distant memory we'd laugh about. But boy oh boy, was I wrong! I liked to pretend that nothing ever happened. I tried to push that to the back of mind, like it was a mistake. She didn't mean it, did she? She didn't still love Tori, no that's silly! I tried to save myself, but all that did was dig a deeper hole of selfishness. I wanted to protect my feelings, but in the process, I made it worse for everyone. I just couldn't move past this insecurity, no matter how hard I tried. I had won, hadn't I? We were getting married, but I could already feel things going south. One day it just became too much. I could tell she wasn't all mine. Her mind was somewhere else that wasn't me. She told me she had to tell me something. To just pick an animal. I picked a giraffe, our special animal. I let her be a cat, maybe that would lessen some confusion. She asked me about Tori. I picked a polar bear, cold like her dark dark heart and soul. Really I should've picked a poisonous snake. One that leaves you there to die a slow, painful death. Cat was still in love with Tori. I gave her the chance to fight for us. I asked if the engagement was over. She called it off. Then we started fighting. I had to pretty much beg my sister not to kill Cat or Tori. Cat, because she's Cat. I'll always love and care about her. Now Tori, I couldn't give a single chizz about, but it'd look poorly on my part. As much as I'd love it if she were gone, that would still be wrong, better, but wrong.

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I thought everything with Tori was finally dying down. We agreed to try to make things work, and I thought things were going better. That was until a few days ago. Beck was overly stressed and just bugging out. I asked him about it and he told me it was between him, Tori, and his fiancée. Turns out Beck had a fling with Tori, how long, I'm not sure. Tori told Cat and Cat told his fiancée. Beck begged for forgiveness and told Tori off. Cat was kind enough to let him back in. I'm sure he'll never do that again. If he does, he's the stupidest man alive.

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All this stuff that happened with Beck and Tori and Cat, I swear the girl is just a home-wrecker. I mean Cat's pregnant after all! So Beck goes and has an affair with Tori. Then Cat accidentally lets the cat out of the bag and she's made the bad guy. No, Beck could've stayed away and Tori could just keep to herself. My poor Cat was just stuck in the middle. She can't really defend anyone cause she was in that situation not too long ago. Tori needs to find someone she can be with that's not already in a steady relationship. I honestly just wish she'd leave. Sure people might miss her, but we'd all be better off without that gank!

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It eventually came time to tell Amanda. I knew she'd be crushed, but I never expected this. She cried…a lot…and she completely hates Cat. She's mad at her for abandoning us. She thinks Cat never cared about us. What made it hurt even more was that she could tell I was upset. We tried to show her everything would be fine, that things wouldn't change. But I don't think she believes us one bit. I don't want her to hate Cat. She's still her mother and they have such a close relationship. I guess I feel bad. I don't really think she expected that reaction. And I can't completely disagree with everything Amanda said. I think what really hit Cat was that she called her by her first name. We've been Mommy and Daddy for such a long time. They're like terms of endearment. I sometimes forget she actually knows our names. Cat's still legally her mother, but other than that, I don't know where things stand.

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I had been hanging with Cat a lot lately. I guess she understands how I feel. And I guess she needs a break from three kids. She cheers me up so much and makes me smile, even in the semi-depressed state I was. Obviously she hates Tori with all her being. It's funny to see her all angry and revengeful! She's honestly like a sister to me now (she actually kinda is cause Jadey's her sister). We came up with some possible ideas to keep Tori in line. As I like to say, "Justice, but also revenge. Revenge, but also justice.". She's like my little partner in crime, if you will. I'm so lucky to have her as my friend. She's everything a friend should be. Beck's very lucky to have her.

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Beck frackin broke her, and I mean literally. Apparently Tori's pregnant now. I didn't know I could hate someone so much. I'd never hurt her baby, but I'd just love to just remove the baby and kill Tori! I asked her too. She said she'd definitely hurt and break up more people. What a selfish gank off! She's **SO** lucky she's pregnant or I may have just killed her with my bare hands! Beck doesn't want anything to do with the baby. I don't blame him. He got Cat back once, and luckily, she took him back again. He's got his own little family and Tori shouldn't dare to ever break that up. Tori and Cat will raise the baby. I refuse to let Amanda be around Tori anymore, so I did the worst and most extreme thing I could think of. I threatened to take Cat to court for Amanda. Of course, being Cat, she didn't understand. I explained to her just how severe all this was. Cat and Tori would have their kid (technically Tori and Beck's), Beck and Cat have their own little family with Kamrin, Brandon, and Danny, and I'd have Amanda. Everyone wins. The next day Tori came up and slapped me. Thinking about it, I could probably get her on assault, plus corrupting the morals of a minor and encouraging delinquency. Anyways, Amanda made it loud and clear that she wants nothing to do with Tori or Cat. She wants to stay with her Daddy. I'm glad, though, because I don't think I could live a day without her here with me.

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That weekend, I was out walking around. Long story short, I was stabbed. She had scissors and was drunk. Cat texted me to see how I was doing, since we had been discussing our revengeful plans earlier. I told her to get Amanda and bring her to the hospital. I don't really remember anything else except I just ended up at the hospital. The doctor said I lost a lot of blood. Somehow news spread because next thing I knew, my ex-girlfriend was standing in the doorway. I'm actually surprised she came. Tori came too. She offered to donate blood. I received the transfusion and although I still felt **HORRIBLE**, at least I wasn't gonna bleed out. They bandaged up my arm and sent me back to my room. Cat brought Amanda over a little later, and I don't think I've ever been happier to see that child in my life. Well that's a bit of an exaggeration, but whatever! I heard her sweet voice float down the hallway. It brought a smile to my face knowing she was there. Then I heard it, "Mommy". It was the first time she'd seen her mother in a long time. You could hear it all in her voice. Fear from me being injured and in the hospital. Comfort from seeing the only other person who felt the same love for her as I did. The slight exhaustion from the late hour. The relief in knowing that I was okay, just a little damaged, and, in fact, would not be dying any time soon.

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That night, we were all exhausted, but I refused to fall asleep. I just felt like it was rude to sleep while I had company, regardless of what happened to me. Sometime during the night, Tori woke up and told me to get Cat up too. Some doctor took her into a room and Cat followed. Not really knowing what to do, I went back to my room and I guess fell asleep. I was awoken by Cat and told Tori wasn't gonna have a baby. Too much stress and she miscarried. Cat went blaming it all on me. Well that just started it. We all started yelling at each other. Until then, Amanda had been asleep on a chair. She woke up immediately and I told her to go get a nurse. The fighting escalated and somewhere in between, Cat ended up attacking me. Words were said, things none of us can take back, and I told them I never wanted to see either of them ever again. Amanda was completely disgusted with Cat and wanted her to go to jail. Tori and Cat eventually left. I had talked to Beck briefly and he suggested Amanda go to his house for a little bit, to get away and stuff. So I called Beck and he came to pick her up. I was finally able to get a decent amount of sleep, knowing my daughter was safe and that doctors were watching me.

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The next morning I was well rested and my thoughts drifted back to the previous night. Now able to think clearly, I wrote a letter and sent it to everyone involved: Cat, Tori, Amanda, Cat, and Beck. Cat and I made up. We just didn't see the point in screaming at each other all the time. Even if I was really mad at her, the things I said were unacceptable and just plain harsh. I'd never want her to hurt herself. We decided that we'd start doing things together…as a family. Just the three of us. No Tori, no distractions, just Amanda, Cat, and Robbie. We made plans to do something every now and then. If Tori didn't like it, she'd have to just deal. It was either this, or nothing. Amanda would probably grow even more hostile, and I'd do all I could to speed up the custody process. I'm glad we're working on things. Amanda doesn't deserve to be put into this situation. She never did anything wrong. The poor little girl was just thrown into the mix and that's the last thing I ever wanted to happen. Hopefully these outings can bring us back to the family we used to be.

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The next day, Cat decided to come over. I tried to stop her, but she was "on her way already". She had been scaring me a little, making me really nervous about her intentions. I reluctantly let her in and offered to make us some lunch. For some reason she started wandering around the house. It's not like she didn't live there once. But she's Cat, so I just shook it off. While we were eating she got a call from Amanda, saying she was in danger. She suggested we go that instant. I wanted to go together, but she suggested we split up. I got half way down the block before I realized I forgot my inhaler. Cat had already gotten to the woods and thought she saw Mandy's little pink giraffe I gave her for Christmas. I got back to the house to grab my inhaler and maybe a few other things. I passed by Amanda's open door and her giraffe was sitting right on top of her dresser. I thought that was a little shady, so I called Cat and went back to my room. Eventually I told her I left and saw her car outside. I locked all the doors and when Cat couldn't get in the front door, she tried the back. I immediately ran to the door, and thus her plan was thwarted. And Robert E. Shapiro was victorious again! Cat's been all over the place lately. One minute she's all sorry and almost begging me for forgiveness, and the next she wants to kill me. Regardless of what happened, I will always care about her, and right now, I'm really concerned. I still don't think it's hit her yet. So much has happened in the past month. I don't think any of us have really processed it yet. I finally had to tell Cat that, yes, I do get a say in things, but I can't disobey the court system, and believe me, they're not exceptionally happy with her. She didn't even know they would be looking into everything she did. I told her if she kept this up, there'd be no way she'd be allowed to be alone with Amanda. I know she'd never want that. She promised to calm down a little.

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I've been avoiding Tori for so long. It works better this way. Talk to Beck, Cat, any of my other friends, avoid anything having to do with Tori, forget she exists completely. It makes life bearable. We do have some contact, mainly when I need to talk to Cat about things. Tori usually just rolls her eyes and makes snippy comments. It makes me laugh sometimes. I like spending time with Cat, even if that included having Tori around. It's totally worth being in her presence. Even if I didn't want to, we have to be amicable and make things work. My little girl needs a loving home. Somewhere she can be a little kid and not have to worry about anything. That's my goal in life, to give her the world. Her life hasn't always been perfect, but it's my mission in life to change that. And if I have to fight Tori to accomplish that, you best believe I will!

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I had been talking to my Kit Cat a lot and she was saying how she didn't have a valentine. She said she hated couples and Valentine's Day and just horrible things. I told her I'd change her opinion. She was my friend, and she'd been through so much when it came to boys. I did everything I could to show her how I felt. Finally I just had to come out and say it. To my disappointment, she told me she didn't feel the same way. Heartbroken, I just went home. I had been getting worse and worse for the past month or so. I had been gradually spiraling downward and this had just made it worse. My mother put me on anxiety medicine right after my birthday. I slowly became addicted, and the night of the tree accident, it got so bad! I was destroying everything in my path. Vases, pictures, my guitar. I was so out of it that I took a large handful of the pills. Thankfully they only made me sick. When Amanda asked me to explain everything that had happened with her mom, I finally realized just how stupid and selfish I was. I called my mom and she changed the medicine. Everything fluctuated for a few weeks until that day in February. Three strikes and I'm out. I couldn't possibly take anything else to make me forget, so I decided to just leave for good. Amanda had Cat. Cat had Tori. All my other friends had each other. Cat and Amanda reached out to me and I had a long talk with each of them. With some help from Cat, I realized that I needed help if I was gonna beat these demons. My mom had wanted to bring me to a psychiatrist. She thought I was emotionally unstable. We talked and I decided that I'd go into a weeklong treatment. They'd be able to help, and I wouldn't be away for too long. I eventually had to tell my daughter, and to say it hurt is a HUGE understatement. She's gonna stay with Cat at her apartment. I promised to call the little munchkin every day. Maybe that'll help me keep going. I'll make it through. I just have to. There's too much at stake and I'd never wanna hurt anyone I love.

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So maybe life isn't so bad. I have amazing friends and a loving family. My daughter is happy, healthy, and the light of my life. We're both doing well in school, and I couldn't be more proud of the things that child has accomplished. I would've never imagined a little nine year old girl would be the glue that kept me together, but what can I say? She's got me wrapped around her little finger, and that's where I love it the most.

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**So here's the next part of the soap opera that is my RP. Quite intense if I do say so myself. I know I may come off very harsh with all this, but it actually goes on much deeper level than even just having an emotional attachment/relationship with the characters. Maybe I'll share that later. Sorry if I made you cry (unless you're a part of this, in that case I'm not). I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and a happy March!**

**-Sami**


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